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Just One Look

flirtIs it okay to look? When you are married, is it okay for you to glance or admire the beauty of another person of the opposite sex? It’s an interesting question and one that I’m not going to answer for you, but rather have you decide once you consider the possible implications of that action.

Brianna had been married for 10 years and by her definition she would say she had a wonderful marriage. Her husband was a handsome man who held down a decent job and provided well for their family. He was very loving and affectionate with her and she rarely complained. Certainly they had their fair share of disagreements, but they always managed to work them out eventually. There didn’t appear to be any real threats to their marriage. That is until Brianna decided it was okay to just look.

It happened one day while Brianna was at the park with her youngest child. She was enjoying the sunshine and warm temperatures when a good looking man walked by her. Instead of looking away, she focused on his face and for a moment their eyes locked. It seemed as though he had noticed her too. He was there with his son, but they were leaving. The exchange seemed harmless.

The next time Brianna got ready to go to the park, she dressed with a little more care. Gone was the old-shirt replaced by something new. Instead of throwing her hair in the usual pony tail, she used hot rollers and left it long. She applied make-up including a bolder shade of lipstick. The look she had taken a few days before with the gentleman in the park had morphed into curiosity.

She spotted him immediately upon arriving at the park, but she didn’t approach him. She just sat near enough to him that he might take notice, which he did. They struck up a conversation easily focusing at first on their children and other small talk, but after several trips to the park that week and more discussions, the conversation naturally turned more personal. What was initially a harmless glance became a real threat to Brianna’s marriage. A very innocent look was slowly evolving into a guilty pleasure.

This is not just some story, it’s happening all the time in real life. In a recent survey, 85% of men and 65% of women said that they would have an affair if they thought they could get away with it. That is a shocking and unnerving statistic! I don’t believe that it is coming from marriages that are in trouble. I think every relationship is vulnerable to an affair, perhaps some more than others. It’s easy to say that it doesn’t hurt to look, but have you ever caught your spouse looking appreciatively at someone of the opposite sex? It sure doesn’t feel good. How would you feel if your children witnessed you looking suggestively at someone other than their mom or dad?

I know couples who joke around about what famous celebrity they think is attractive. While it all seems in good fun, don’t think for a minute that your spouse doesn’t start mentally comparing themselves to that person and considering how short they fall from your standard of perfection.

If a glance in the wrong direction can cause a disaster while driving, think of the damage it could do in your marriage and then decide if it’s worth just one look.

Author Information
Dan Seaborn
Dan Seaborn is the founder of Winning At Home, Inc., an organization designed to assist and encourage people of all ages and stages of family development. As a featured speaker at churches and large-scale events such as marriage conferences, corporate functions, and university assemblies, Dan Seaborn has earned recognition as a powerful and passionate communicator. Through practical illustrations and memorable real-life examples, he encourages individuals and families to lead Christ-centered homes.

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