I’m Not Any Good At That
Dan Seaborn Parents, here’s a phrase you’re definitely going to hear your kids say somewhere along life’s road. They’re going to say, “I don’t want to do that because I’m not any good at it.”I have had this experience at one time or another with all my children but I remember when it happened with my youngest child. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to play a certain sport at school because she didn’t think that she would be any good.
Isn’t the same true for many of us? Don’t we only want to take part in events where we know for sure we are going to excel or be the best? Kids need to be reassured that they aren’t alone in these feelings and that it’s okay not to always be the top dog. It is some of the best preparation we can give them for life.
For example, I may not write the best articles. There are probably far superior writers than myself and there may be writers who aren’t as good. My goal is to do my best and strive to achieve excellence in my writing. Whether I am the best or not doesn’t matter, because I’m still making a contribution.
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On the other side of the coin, like I told my daughter in this particular conversation, “You’ve got some gifts, baby, that no one else has on that team.”
I then asked her to name some. She proceeded to rattle off two or three things that she thought she was good at, and I told her that she was correct.
I explained to her that there are many things in life that we are good at and that will serve us well, that won’t garner recognition. There are many great things kids do in school for which they never receive a grade. The point is, a contribution is still being made to a greater cause and that’s what is important.
Children need to know they don’t have to be the best at everything. In the areas where your children are gifted, seek to encourage them to do absolutely all that they can to use those abilities. In the areas where they’re not as talented as other people, tell them to work at giving it all they’ve got and contribute what they can and in doing so they will become a good team player. That’s true whether they are on the job, on a playing field or in a relationship.
So parents, prepare for that comment that’s coming. Remind your kids that you’ve had those feelings too. Doing this is one of the good ways you can prepare them for life—for a life that is going to be filled with people who are thinking they’re not any good at that.
